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150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

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Best Flirty Pick Up Lines, Best Pick Up Lines, Flirty pick up lines for texting, Pick up lines for flirting, Flirty pick up lines for him, Flirty pick up lines for her

Flirty Pick Up Lines: If you are looking for the best ‘Flirting pick up lines’ to impress your crush, then this article is for you.

With the help of a best ‘Flirting pick up line,’ you can not only impress your crush, but it also shows how tremendous your sense of humor is.

So here are 150+ best ‘Flirting pick up lines’ with which you can start a conversation with your crush and impress them.

Here are the best ‘Flirting pick up lines’ to use on your crush:

Best Flirty Pick Up Lines

1. “I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?”

2. “I’m like the 0.1% of germs that sanitizer can’t kill – super reliable.”

3. “Is your nickname Sirius? ‘Cause, you’re just about the brightest star in the sky.”

4. “I know it’s already September, but you sure do look like my Valentine.”

5. “They told me magic wasn’t real – guess they hadn’t seen you smile.”

6. “Let’s play iPhone games! If I win, you take me out. If you win, I take you out.”

7. “I bet you smiled when you saw my name pop up on your phone just now.”

8. “Well, I texted you. What are your other two wishes?”

9. “So aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?”

10. “I can’t see you right now, but I bet you look great.”

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Best Flirty Pick Up Lines, Best Pick Up Lines, Flirty pick up lines for texting, Pick up lines for flirting, Flirty pick up lines for him, Flirty pick up lines for her

11. “Can I save you in my phone as “future loml”?”

12. “Can you send me a selfie? I just want to show my mom what my future partner looks like.”

13. “Do you have a name you want me to save you as in my phone or should I just put “mine”?”

14. “Are you, Siri? Because you autocomplete me.”

15. “I tried to send you something flirty, but I couldn’t fit in the text box.”

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

16. “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”

17. “Wow, I didn’t realize that works of art were allowed to leave the museum.”

18. “Screw Instagram, I’d follow you anywhere.”

19. “Man, I didn’t think wishing on the birthday candles would WORK.”

20. “You must’ve been a cold soda in a previous life because this conversation is refreshing.”

21. “I was hungry till I got your number. Now I’m pretty fulfilled.”

22. “I’m not sure I believe in The One, but The Two of us, on the other hand…”

23. “I can’t help grinning like a fool every time I see that you’re typing.”

24. “Can I slap you in the face…with my lips?”

25. “Do you believe in love at first text or should I text you again?”

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Best Pick Up Lines

26. “Do you fish? Because you have me hooked.”

27. “If you were a triangle you’d be acute one.”

28. “So I already got your number, what’s next?”

29. “Is it just the WiFi? Or am I totally feeling a connection?”

30. “I had to remove my space bar so I could get closer to you.”

Read More: 225+ Unique Girl Dog Names- Female Puppy Names

31. “I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!”

32. “I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”

33. “Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

34. “Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day.”

35. “When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul.”

36. “That shirt looks great on you! As a matter of fact, so would I.”

37. “You make me melt like an ice cream in cone under the summer sun.”

38. “Your lips are meant to be kissed. Let’s not waste them.”

39. “Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of love and adoration.”

40. “The only thing scarier than the Babadook is the thought of you not texting back.”

41. “Do you want to build a snowmaaan? It doesn’t have to be a snowman! (Could be a healthy relationship.)”

42. “Accio perfection! Oh wait, you’re already here.”

43. “Sooooo tell me what you want, what you REALLY REALLY want.”

44. “You walking into a room would make the Royal Wedding look like a kid’s birthday party.”

45. “Greetings and salivations.”

46. “If we were caught in a shipwreck, I’d let you float on the door with me.”

47. “‘I may not be the smartest man, but I know what love is.’ Hint, hint.”

48. “Honey, you’re just un-bee-lievable.”

49. “Would it be shellfish if I clam-oured for more of your time?”

50. “We don’t have to be owl by ourselves anymore! “

Read More: 175+ Most Unique Male Dog Names

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Flirty pick up lines for texting

51. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’”

52. “Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.”

53. “I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you.”

54. “I didn’t know what I wanted in a woman until I saw you.”

55. “I was wondering if you could tell me: If you’re here, who’s running Heaven?”

56. “No wonder the sky is gray (or dark, if at night)—all the color is in your eyes.”

57. “You’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, and believe me—I’ve been looking a long time.”

58. “You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.”

59. “You’ve got a lot of beautiful curves, but your smile is absolutely my favorite.”

60. “Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?”

Read More: 75+ Best Dog Captions for Instagram

61. “Knock knock. Who’s there? Whale. Whale who? Whale you go out with me?”

62. “You must be great with reptiles – after all, you’re one in a chameleon.”

63. “All this suspense of ‘who texts first’ was getting un-bear-able. I couldn’t paws anymore.”

64. “Stop staring at me. I might get pregnant!”

65. “Hey, do you want to get lucky? Then come with me.”

66. “My love is like a tidal wave, and you’re beachfront property.”

67. “Do you smoke pot? Because ‘weed’ be good together.”

68. “If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right.”

69. “You remind me of a dictionary in the way you add meaning to everything.”

70. “I saw you walking by and I had to come say hello. I love your style. My name’s (your name).”

71. “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick up line.”

72. “When I look at you I feel like I’m a pirate and just found my buried treasure.”

73. “You’re like the wind. Because you blow me away.”

74. “Are you Greek? Because you look like a goddess.”

75. “If beauty was a grain of sand, you’d be a thousand beaches.”

Read More: 150+ Best Good Morning Messages and Quotes

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Best Flirty Pick Up Lines, Best Pick Up Lines, Flirty pick up lines for texting, Pick up lines for flirting, Flirty pick up lines for him, Flirty pick up lines for her

Pick up lines for flirting

76. “Do you like Basketball? I can show you my Magic Johnson.”

77. “You must be Cinderella, because I see that dress disappearing by midnight.”

78. “Your name must be Katniss. Because you’re starting an uprising in my district.”

79. “Are you winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”

80. “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.”

81. “I was wondering if you’re an artist because you were so good at drawing me in.”

82. “Your dimples are illegal, so I call you ille-girl.” – BTS

83. “Is your name John? Because I’ve never Cena girl like you before.”

84. “NASA called, they said that you’re out of this world.”

85. “Are you good at math? Can you replace my X without asking Y?”

86. “Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.”

87. “I would never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.”

88. “Are you Google? Because you’re everything I’m searching for.”

89. “Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.”

90. “You must be nitroglycerin. Because you’re dynamite.”

Also Read: 150+ Beautiful Life Quotes That’ll Motivate You

91. “I’m no astronomer, but I’d still give you the sun, moon, and the stars.”

92. “You know what you and planet earth Earth have in common? You’re both getting hotter each year.”

93. “Are you a magician? It’s the strangest thing, but every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

94. “Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my day/night!”

95. “Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”

96. “Hey, excuse me. You have a bit of cuteness on your face.”

97. “I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it to see if it works?”

98. “You remind me of trigonometry. Because exploring all your angles would result in sin().”

99. “Are you going to call me?” – Margot Robbie

100. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.”

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Flirty pick up lines for him

101. “I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”

102. “Why do you have to look so good?! I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing!”

103. “In your arms is where I truly belong.”

104. “I will report you to the police for stealing my heart!”

105. “Your eyes are like IKEA… I can get lost in them.”

Read More: 150+ Best Father-Daughter Quotes and Sayings in 2022

106. “You must be the guy who’s going to get me a drink.”

107. “Wait a second. I need to breathe. Being with you takes my breath away.”

108. “I like you just how I like my coffee: tall, dark, and strong.”

109. “You seem familiar. You look a lot like my future boyfriend/husband.”

110. “Could you please hold this hand for me as I go walk in the park?”

111. “Hey, please keep your distance. I might fall for you any time.”

112. “You remind me of a magnet because you are attracting me to you.”

113. “Aren’t you tired running through my mind the whole day?”

114. “Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!”

115. “Let’s flip a coin. Head, and I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.”

116. “Boy, you’re the proof that aliens are real, because I think that you just abducted my heart.”

117. “Let me tie your shoes, ‘cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else.”

118. “We should go out for coffee sometimes because I definitely like you a latte.”

119. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a pineapple.”

120. “Hey, can I take a photo with you? I just want to make my ex jealous.”

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

121. “I am not quite certain what you think of me. I just hope it’s at least R-rated.”

122. “You are hotter than a sunburn!”

123. “Your lips are kind of wrinkled. Mind if I press them?”

124. “I can see into the future, and yeah, it’s me and you together.”

125. “Would you mind if I give you a kiss right now?”

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Flirty pick up lines for her

126. “Do you know what would look great on you? My arms!”

127. “You hand looks heavy. Here, let me hold it for you.”

128. “Even if there was no gravity on planet Earth, I would still fall for you.”

129. “Whenever I count my blessings, I count you multiple times.”

130. “If I can’t be with you in reality, then at least let me be with you in dreams.”

Read More: 150+ Best & Clever Captions for a Family Photos

131. “Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?”

132. “I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.”

133. “You must be a hell of a thief, because you managed to steal my heart from across the room.”

134. “There is nothing sweeter than the beauty of your face.”

135. “You’re like WiFi: You make me want to connect to you.”

136. “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be in prison for life!”

137. “Like an unsharpened pencil, life without you is pointless!”

138. “I wish I was your handbag, so that I’d always be by your side.”

139. “I’m calling the cops! I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to look as good as you do.”

140. “I’m certain that when God created you, he was trying to show off.”

Read More: 150+ Beautiful Sunset Captions for Instagram & Best Sunset Quotes

141. “In this world, there are things that money can’t buy. You seem to be one of them.”

142. “I guarantee you—I’m not flirting with you! I’m just being extra nice to someone who’s extra attractive.”

143. “I was feeling a bit OFF the whole day. But then, you showed up and turned me ON.”

144. “I’m horribly lost. Can you give me the directions to your heart?”

145. “You must be exhausted running in my mind all day long.”

146. “I’m warning you—I’m a thief and I’m here to steal your heart!”

147. “I would say ‘God bless you,’ but it seems like he already did.”

148. “If I could just rearrange the alphabet, I would definitely put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

149. “I love your smile, but I love it more whenever I’m the reason behind it.”

150. “Oh, you have something on your face… wait, it’s just the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.”

151. “You must be a broom. Because you swept me off my feet.”

Read More: 250+ Good Instagram Captions for Your Selfies & Photos

Best Flirty Pick Up Lines, Best Pick Up Lines, Flirty pick up lines for texting, Pick up lines for flirting, Flirty pick up lines for him, Flirty pick up lines for her
Best Flirty Pick Up Lines, Best Pick Up Lines, Flirty pick up lines for texting, Pick up lines for flirting, Flirty pick up lines for him, Flirty pick up lines for her

Jokes

150+ Funny Mom Jokes That Will Make Every Mom Laugh

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Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

Best Mom Jokes: The internet is full of ‘dad jokes’, but everyone will agree that moms are funny too. “Although motherhood is very hard, Sure, it is one of the most rewarding positions we moms will ever have.”

Finding ‘funny mom jokes‘ on the internet can be a bit difficult.  “So in honor of Mother’s Day, here is a collection of 150+ ‘funny mom jokes’ that are sure to put a smile on your mother’s face.”

The list has covered ‘funny mom jokes’, clever one-liners, ‘mother-daughter jokes‘, and mom puns, which any mother would love.

Best Mom Jokes

1. “What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?”
“Where’s Pop Corn?”

2. “Motherhood: Because going to the bathroom in private is over-rated.”

3. “Mothers of teens understand why some animals eat their young.”

4. “It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”

5. “What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.”

6. “What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.”

7. “Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.”

8. “In Mary Poppin’s voice Kids, time to go!”
15 minutes later
Christian Bale’s Batman voice I said let’s go.”

9. “When my kid tells me they got hurt doing exactly what I told them to stop doing so they wouldn’t get hurt.” Oh noooooo…

10. Son: “Mom, can I get $20?”
Mom: “Does it look like I’m made of money?”
Son: “Well, isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

11. “A mother’s main diet is her child’s leftovers.”

12. “A police officer was asked what they would do if they had to arrest their mother. They responded that they would call for backup!”

13. “The two amounts of pasta I’m best at cooking: 1. not enough 2. enough for 3,000 people.”

14. “What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses. “

15. “I’m homeschooling like that substitute teacher who rolls in the tv for a movie and just eats snacks in the back of the class.” @fruitsofmotherhood

Read More: 150+ Best Dad Jokes That Will make the Whole Family Laughing

16. “One minute you are young and cool, maybe even a little dangerous, and the next you are reading Amazon reviews for birdseed.” @simoncholland

17. “Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!”

18. “What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!”

19. “What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.”

20. “What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.”

Funny Mom Jokes

21. “Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.”

22. “If I get through this quarantine without buying a tie-dye sweatsuit I can do anything.” @alyssalimp

23. “Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.”

24. “Finally my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls.”

25. “What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in the washing machine.”

26. “Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.”

27. “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.”

28. Daughter: “Mom, I need my personal space!”
Mom: “You came out of my personal space.”

29. “Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.”

30. “I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them.”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

31. “Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue!”

32. “Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.”

Read More: 150+ Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually so Funny

33. “Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!”

34. “Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.”

35. “Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.”

36. “What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.”

37. “Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.”

38. “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” “I don’t know, ask your grandma!”

39. “What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!”

40. “What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.”

mom jokes one-liners

41. “What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.”

42. “I bought my mom a mug that says, ‘Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son’.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.”

43. “Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning, you can braid hair while I pack lunches, and we can all be late.” @simoncholland

44. “What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother’s Day when she was about to do the dishes?” “Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning.”

45. “I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.”

Read More: 150+ Best Nature Captions for Instagram

46. “How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.”

47. “They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.”

48. “There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:
Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.”

49. Mom: “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.”
Son: “Maybe he has good parents then!”

50. “A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.”

51. Mommy: “Mommy will think about it!”
Narrator: “Mommy never thought about it. She knew it was ‘no’ all along and just wanted everyone to STFU.”

52. “Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like breakfast in bed, Mommy?”

53. “What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s day.”

54. “Please excuse the mess, my kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.”

55. “Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought,” “Phew it’s chocolate.”

56. “I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.”

57. Mom: “The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you.”

58. “Some days I do yoga and don’t yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It’s called balance.” @katiebinghamsmith

59. “Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.”

60. Boy: “My mom is having a new baby.”
Girl: “What’s wrong with the old one?”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

Read More: 150+ Best Breakup Quotes That Describe Your Pain

Dirty mom jokes

61. “Nothing is really lost… until mom can’t find it.”

62. “I love it when I find myself screaming ‘STOP SCREAMING’ at my kids. That’s how I teach them irony.” @motherhoodandmore

63. “Whoever wrote the song ‘Easy Like Sunday Morning‘ did not have kids.”

64. “There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream ‘Mom’ three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.”

65. “Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Omelet
Omelet who?
Omelet Mommy sleep in today.”

66. “A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He said, ‘Call for backup.’ “

67. “Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?”

68. “Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.”

69. “A toddler can do more things in a single unsupervised minute than most adults can do in a week.”

70. “Becoming a mom means your kid is the one who’s up drinking all night but you end up the one hungover in the morning.”

71. “Behind every picture taken at home there’s a mom who’s shoving random crap out of the frame so it can look like the house is clean.”

72. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious.”

73. “Being a mom has taught me that the main cause of dehydration in small children is bedtime.”

74. “Being a mom is a constant dilemma between turning in early to catch up on sleep or staying up to finally get a little me-time.”

75. “Being a mom is like you’re a superhero. Everyone is somewhat afraid of you and you keep warding off monsters from destroying everything.”

Read More: 150+ Best Pick Up Lines- Cheesy and Funny

76. Being a mom means saying things like “I love you to the moon and beyond but if you don’t get ready in five minutes, I will haunt your dreams for the next five years.”

77. “Being a stay-at-home mom would be pretty awesome if it wasn’t for all these children and all their needs.”

78. Child: “Stop making jokes you’re not funny.”
Mom: “Well, I made you.”

79. “Every mom wants her kids to have everything she couldn’t afford…. Then move in with them!”

80. “Every mother ever: I’m warning you, If you fall and break your legs, don’t come running to me!”

Mom Puns

81. “Guide for baking with your children”:
Step 1: Don’t.

82. “How can you get the kids to be quiet?”
Say mum’s the word.

83. “I child-proofed my house but my kids can still get in!”

84. “I could write a book about being a mom but it would just be a rant about doing everything on my own framed by cocktail recipes.”

85. “From what I have learned as a mom, motherhood means repeatedly getting up right after you had just sat down one second ago.”

86. “Being a mom is like you constantly have to clean up after a party you didn’t attend.”

87. “I go by Mom, but my full name is” “Mom Mom Mom Mom.”

88. “I googled my symptoms and it turns out I have kids.”

89. “I opened the first little door on my Moms Advent Calendar and a pile of dirty laundry fell out.”

90. “I really want my kids to be head-strong and strong-willed individuals, just not while I’m raising them!”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

Read More: 150+ Dirty Pick Up Lines

91. “I used to be a snack but now that I’m a mom I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.”

92. “I used to watch horror movies for entertainment. Now I just watch my children bake in my kitchen.”

93. “I usually only let crazy mom out a few times a month, just enough so that the kids are always aware she exists.”

94. “I’m fairly certain Moms are just a part of a scientific experiment to prove that sleep is not needed in order to survive.”

95. “If a mom doesn’t have a used gift bag full of other used gift bags, is she even a mom?”

96. “If evolution really worked moms would have more than two hands.”

97.  “I’d love to be one of those Pinterest moms that make their own shampoo and bake elaborate gingerbread houses for Christmas but I’m leaning more towards,” “Today I took a shower, kept my kids alive, and only cried once.”

98. “I must admit I’ve never done CrossFit, but I have buckled a screaming child into a car seat several times.”

99. “Child: “Mom, please! I need some personal space!”
Mom: “Should have thought of that before you popped out my personal space!”

100. “Being a mom is great and all, but have you ever had the house all to yourself for two hours?”

mother daughter jokes

101. “At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.”

102. “My Mom told me I’d never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much.”
I said, “Oh, yeah? Just you wait.”

103. “When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.”

104. Son: “Mom, what’s a weekend?”
Mom: “I don’t know, sweetheart, I haven’t had one since you were born.”

105. Baby snake: “Mommy, are we poisonous?”
Mommy snake: “Yes, son. Why?”
Baby snake: “I just bit my tongue!”

Read More: 150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

106. “Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.”

107. “You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.”

108. “You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.”

109. “My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as” “there appears to have been a struggle.”

110. “Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.”

111. “Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.”

112. “Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
My mom’s jokes,
Are funnier than you.”

113. “How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done.”

114. “What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship.”

115. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them. “

116. “If you ever need a moment to yourself just shout ‘1, 2, 3, mom is lava!’ and you will get a few moments to enjoy your coffee in peace.”

117. “If you want to nap with kids at home, just tell them, ‘Wake me up in half an hour so we can do chores!’ They’ll do anything to avoid waking you up.”

118. “Let mommy have her alone time. According to the Internet, there are several species who eat their young, and your mom might just be one of them!”

119. “Me and another couple veteran moms were asked to write parenting advice in a guestbook for a baby shower, so I just left them my favorite daiquiri recipe.”

120. Me: “I love being a mom. Being a mom is so fulfilling!”
Also me: “googling How do I fake my own coma?”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

Single mom jokes

121. Kid: “What’s a man?”
Dad: “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”
Kid: “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

122. “Before having kids, every mom thinks she’ll be a super-chill mom.”
“That’s because, at that point, we had no idea they’d break all our stuff, make ridiculous demands, and take roughly 10 years to get out of the car.”

123. “What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.”

124. Night Mom: “Tomorrow, I’m going to get up early before all of the kids, pack their lunches, go for a run, cook a healthy breakfast, and enjoy 20 minutes of silent ‘me time.’”
Morning Mom: “Hahahahahaha. Nice try.”

125. “Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bacon.
Bacon who?
Bacon brownies for Mother’s Day.”

126. “What three words solve dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.”

127. “Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years!”

128. “Mom on Social Media: Making cupcakes with the kids! Love them so much! #blessed
Moms, actually: YOU’RE GETTING EGGSHELLS IN THE BATTER. STEP ASIDE! MOVE! LET ME DO IT!”

129. “Mom sleep: It’s like regular sleep but without the sleep.”

130. “Moms don’t drink to cope, moms drink because babies are small drunks and they want to level with them!”

131. “Most moms would love to have a long nice nap for their birthday but they’re also adults so they know they can’t ask for impossible things!”

132. “Most of the things I say to my kids after 6 p.m. end with” “or you could just go to bed now!”

133. ” Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.”

134. “I’m going to donate these bags of clothes to Goodwill. But first, I’m going to drive around with them in my trunk for four months.”

135. “Everything you do is so mom point.”

Read More: 225+ Unique Girl Dog Names- Female Puppy Names

136. “What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time.”

137. “Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales? Because mothers are priceless.”

138. “I hate it when I’m waiting for my mom to make lunch, and then I recall that I’m mom and I have to make lunch.”

Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes
Best Mom Jokes, Funny Mom Jokes, mom jokes one-liners, Dirty mom jokes, Mom Puns, mother daughter jokes, Single mom jokes

Funny Motherhood Quotes from Celebrities

139. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”- Erma Bombeck

140. “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”- Reese Witherspoon

141. “Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home.”- Phyllis Diller

142. “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.”- Carrie Underwood

143. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”- Michelle Pfeiffer

144. “There are no rules in this house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”- Amy Poehler, Mean Girls

145. “Kids are challenging. Wine is necessary.”- Kelly Clarkson

146. “Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.”- Jenny McCarthy

147. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I come out.”- Erma Bombeck

148. “Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.”- Amy Poehler

149. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”- Nora Ephron

150. “You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.”- Jennifer Garner

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

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150+ Best Dad Jokes That Will make the Whole Family Laughing

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Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

Best Dad Jokes: There comes a time in life when we need some rest and entertainment.  There are many ways to entertain yourself, but if you like “Dad Jokes”, this article is for you. 

Dad jokes aren’t just for dads. It will be helpful in relieving stress and creating a comfortable and enjoyable environment.

Here are 150+ “Dad Jokes and puns”, you will definitely like it.

Best Dad Jokes

1. “What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!”

2. “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!”

3. “Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.”

4. “If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?” “An iWitness.”

5. “What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.”

6. “What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt looks good on you.”

7. “A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.'”

8. “Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.”

9. “5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.”

10. “Why did the bedding hide their relationship? They just wanted something pillow-key!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

11. “You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom? European.”

12. “I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”

13. “Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.”

14. “Why do dogs float in water? Because they are good buoys.”

15. “What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.”

Read More: 150+ Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually so Funny

16. “What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? 100 sows and bucks.”

17. “Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.”

18. “What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.”

19. “Police arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states: solid, liquid, and gas.”

20. “What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.”

Dad jokes for adults

21. “Why is grass so dangerous? Because it’s full of blades.”

22. “It really takes guts to be an organ donor.”

23. “What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.”

24. “I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.”

25. “How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps? You slowly get over it.”

26. “I’m reading an anti-gravity book. I can’t put it down!”

27. “I’d avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy!”

28. “I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.”

29. “Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.”

30. “Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

Read More: 150+ Best Nature Captions for Instagram

31. “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!”

32. “Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.”

33. “A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!’

34. “Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it!”

35. “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it!”

36. “Where do fruits go on vacation?” “Pear-is!”

37. “I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.”

38. “What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn?”

39. “Where do you learn to make a banana split?” “Sundae school.”

40. “What has more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!”

Best dad jokes ever

41. “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

42. “What do you call a poor Santa Claus?” “St. Nickel-less.”

43. “I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.”

44. “What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.”

45. “What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored? Tweet.”

Read More: 150+ Best Breakup Quotes That Describe Your Pain

46. “I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.”

47. “How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.”

48. “Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.”

49. “A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club.” “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

50. “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

51. “A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. ‘I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,’ he says. ‘Sorry, but I can’t serve you,’ the bartender replies. ‘You’re out of your head.'”

52. “A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.” The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

53. “Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was,” “Bach, Bach, Bach…”

54. “What did the DNA say to the other DNA?” “Do these genes make me look fat?”

55. “Q: What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street? A: A large fortune.”

56. “My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end, but I just don’t see the point.”

57. “What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.”

58. “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

59. “What do houses wear? An address.”

60. “What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.”

Read More: 150+ Best Pick Up Lines- Cheesy and Funny

Funny Dad Jokes

61. “What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.’

62. “What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.”

63. “What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.”

64. “How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.”

65. “In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.”

66. “What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.”

67. “In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.”

68. “Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The bushes.”

69. “I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.” I told him, “Mark, my words!”

70. “How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

71. “I’m starting a new dating service in Prague. It’s called Czech-Mate.”

72. “I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good thymes.”

73. “Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?”
“Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

74. “What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.”

75. “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!”

Read More: 150+ Dirty Pick Up Lines

76. “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”

77. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”

78. “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”

79. “What did one hat say to the other?” “Stay here! I’m going on ahead.”

80. “Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.”

Hilarious Dad Jokes

81. “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”

82. “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”

83. “What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?” “Yellow!”

84. “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”

85. “What kind of car does an egg drive?” “A yolkswagen.”

86. “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”

87. “How do you make 7 even?” “Take away the s.”

88. “What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby? Cutting a rug.”

89. “How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.”

90. “Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.”

Read More: 150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

91. ‘Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?”

92. “What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.”

93. “What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.”

94. “If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.”

95. Teacher: “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross, and the other is cool.” Johnny: “So, what are the words?”

96. “Why should you never mention the number 288? It’s two gross.”

97. “A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people—the student, his mama, and his pauper.”

98. “What does a mobster buried in cement soon become? A hardened criminal.”

99. “Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.”

100. “How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

Best Dad Joke Puns

101. “What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!”

102. “What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.”

103. “What made the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.”

104. “Can I dive in this pool? It deep-ends.”

105. “Why do vampires always seem sick? They’re coffin.”

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

106. “My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.”

107. “What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.”

108. “If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.”

109. “Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”

110. “This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.”

111. “It’s easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.”

112. “I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.”

113. “What is the tallest building in the world? The library—it’s got the most stories.”

114. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

115. “What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!”

116. “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!”

117. “How does a taco say grace?” “Lettuce pray.”

118. “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”

119. “I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.”

120. “How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.”

Read More: 225+ Unique Girl Dog Names- Female Puppy Names

Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

121. “Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!”

122. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”

123. “My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.”

124. “How did Harry Potter get down the hill?” “Walking. JK! Rowling.”

125. “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”

126. “A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”

127. “You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.”

128. “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”

129. “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”

130. “That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”

131. “Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”

132. “I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?”

133. “When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.”

134. “What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!”

135. “What did the juicer say to the orange during self-quarantine? Can’t wait to squeeze you!”

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

136. “What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!”

137. “Someone told me that I should write a book.” I said, “That’s a novel concept.”

138. “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other,” “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

139. “My IQ test results came back. They were negative.”

140. “What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes for adults, Best dad jokes ever, Best Dad Joke Puns, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

Best Dad Jokes for Kids

141. “What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.”

142. “Q: If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get? A: Missile toe.”

143. “My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean.”

144. “What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you?”

145. “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”

146. “What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”

147. “I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.”

148. “Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They’re making headlines.”

149. “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”

150. “I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.”

Read More: 75+ Best Dog Captions for Instagram

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150+ Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually so Funny

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Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

Best Dad Jokes: If you are looking for the best jokes and puns, then this article is for you. Because the best jokes and puns given here will keep you entertained.

“Here we have captured the unique flavor of a real dad’s sense of humor in this collection of over 150+ dad jokes, puns, and one-liners that will make you laugh, groan, or even both at the same time!”

Best Dad Jokes

1. “What does a baby computer call his father? Data.”

2. “After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.”

3. “Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.”

4. “How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.”

5. “I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.”

6. “Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.”

7. “How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.”

8. “Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!”

9. “How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.”

10. “Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

11. “What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.”

12. “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”

13. “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”

14. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”

15. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

Read More: 150+ Best Nature Captions for Instagram

16. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”

17. “Air used to be free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?”
Inflation.

18. “Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Cause you shouldn’t press your luck.”

19. “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.”

20. “Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.”

Funniest dad jokes

21. “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”

22. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”

23. “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”

24. “How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.”

25. “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”

26. “What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.”

27. “What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.”

28. “How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.”

29. “How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb? Who wants to know?”

30. “I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden?”

Read More: 150+ Best Breakup Quotes That Describe Your Pain

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

31. “Did you hear about the frog who parked illegally? He was toad away.”

32. “What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.”

33. “Why did the man name his puppies Rolex and Timex? He wanted a watch dog.

34. “What did the duck say when she ordered lipstick? Put it on my bill.

35. “What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.

36. “My wife asked me to stop singing ‘Wonderwall‘ to her. I said maybe…”

37. “What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.”

38. “My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.”

39. “I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.”

40. “What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.”

Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

41. “What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop.”

42. “Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.”

43. “I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.”

44. “I was addicted to hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.”

45. “I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.”

Read More: 150+ Best Pick Up Lines- Cheesy and Funny

46. “Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.”

47. “What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.”

48. “What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.”

49. “Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.”

50. “Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

51. “What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.”

52. “What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.”

53. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.”

54. “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”

55. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!”

56. “Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.”

57. “What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved.”

58. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?” “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”

59. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”

60. “How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.”

Read More: 150+ Dirty Pick Up Lines

Best Dad Joke Puns

61. “Can February March? No, but April May!”

62. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

63. “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”

64. “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”

65. “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”

66. “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”

67. “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”

68. “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.”

69. “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”

70. “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

71. “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”

72. “How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.”

73. “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”

74. “What’s a robot’s favorite snack?” “Computer chips.”

75. “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”

Read More: 150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

76. “Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.”

77. “When does a joke become a ‘dad joke?’ When it becomes apparent.”

78. “Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.”

79. “What rock group has four men that don’t sing? Mount Rushmore.”

80. “What brand of underwear do scientists wear? Kelvin Klein.”

Funny Dad Jokes

81. “Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero.”

82. “What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed!”

83. “Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.”

84. “Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.”

85. “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”

86. “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.”

87. “Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.”

88. “What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.”

89. “What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.”

90. “Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.”

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

91. “What do clouds wear?” “Thunderwear.”

92. “Why are piggy banks so wise?” “They’re filled with common cents.”

93. “How do you get a good price on a sled?” “You have toboggan.”

94. “How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?” “By its bark.”

95. “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”

96. “It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.”

97. “What do you call a hot dog on wheels?” “Fast food!”

98. “Where do young trees go to learn?” “Elementree school.”

99. “How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!”

100. “I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.”

Bad Dad Jokes

101. “When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.”

102. “What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!”

103. “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”

104. “What do you call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!”

105. “Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.”

Read More: 225+ Unique Girl Dog Names- Female Puppy Names

106. “I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the purple!”

107. “Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.”

108. “What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield!”

109. “Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.”

110. “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate nine!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

111. “I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.”

112. “Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.”

113. “What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.”

114. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Nobel.” “Nobel who?” “No­bel, so I knock knocked.”

115. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Alabama.” “Anybody with you?” “Nope. I’m Alabama self.”

116. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ayatollah.” “Ayatollah who?” “Ayatollah you already.”

117. “Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.”

118. “I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find was 401 matches…”

119. “I sold our vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.”

120. “What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracabrador.”

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

Corny Dad Jokes

121. “Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.”

122. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!”

123. “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!”

124. “Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!”

125. “What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.”

126. Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

127. “My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, ‘I always have a few Twix up my sleeve’.”

128. “How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper.”

129. “Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.”

130. “How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.”

131. “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”

132. “What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.”

133. “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.”

134. “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”

135. “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”

Read More: 75+ Best Dog Captions for Instagram

136. “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”

137. “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”

138. “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”

139. “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.”

140. “What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

Dad jokes you’ve never heard

141. “My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.” I replied, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”

142. My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.

143. “What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-naaaa.”

144. “What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!”

145. “Did you hear the rumor about butter? I really shouldn’t be spreading it.”

146. “I just nicknamed my new phone ‘Titanic‘ so whenever it’s charging I can say ‘the Titanic is synching.'”

147. “A termite walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?'”

148. “Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!”

149. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They’re both Paris sites.”

150. “I told my son I’m named after Thomas Jefferson. He says, But dad, your name is Brian. I respond, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

Read More: 150+ Best Good Morning Messages and Quotes

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Pick Up Lines

150+ Best Pick Up Lines- Cheesy and Funny

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Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Best Pick Up Lines: If you can’t find the words to talk to the most special person in your life, this “Best pickup lines” can help you.  These pickup lines can bring a smile to anyone’s face.

“If you are looking for ‘Best pickup lines’ to impress your crush, then this article is for you.”  There are 150+ Best Pickup lines here. “Whether you’re looking for the best pick-up lines for girls or the funniest pick-up lines for guys, it’s all there.”

“Try one of these best pick up lines as an icebreaker. At least you’ll get laughs, if not love.”

Best Pick Up Lines

1. “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

2. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

3. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”

4. “Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!”

5. “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

6. “Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

7. “Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?”

8. “Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

9. “Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.”

10. “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

11. “Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.”

12. “It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.”

13. “I was feeling a little off today—but you’ve turned me on again!”

14. “I’m studying to become a historian. I’m especially interested in finding a date.”

15. “Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”

Read More: 150+ Dirty Pick Up Lines

16. “Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth has clearly never stood next to you!”

17. “Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem just Wright!”

18. “Are you a magician? Because when I’m looking at you, you make everyone else disappear!”

19. “Are you a camera? Because I look at you and smile!”

20. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Cheesy pick-up lines

21. “Are you a loan? Because you sure have my interest!”

22. “Any chance you have an extra heart? Mine’s been stolen!”

23. “They say nothing lasts forever—so would you be my nothing?”

24. “I’m no mathematician, but I’ve been told I’m good with numbers. How about you give me yours so I can prove it?”

25. “You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!”

26. “I was blinded by your beauty; I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.”

27. “Something’s wrong with my eyes, because I can’t take them off you.”

28. “You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.”

29. “Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel.”

30. “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

Read More: 150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

31. “You must be tired from running through my mind all night.”

32. “Was your father an alien? Because on planet Earth, there’s no one else like you.”

33. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’”

34. “I was wondering if you’re an artist because you were so good at drawing me in.”

35. “Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night.”

36. “Do you know what the Little Mermaid and I have in common? We both want to be part of your world.”

37. “Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”

38. “Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!”

39. “Are you a phaser on Star Trek? Because you’re set to stun!”

40. “Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Funny Pick up lines

41. “I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!”

42. “I’d say God bless you, but it looks like he already has!”

43. “I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it.”

44. “We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.”

45. “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

46. “Are you wi-fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.”

47. “If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.”

48. “Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.”

49. “Your middle name must be Gillette. Because you’re the best a man can get!”

50. “You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”

51. “You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I’m super cheesy, you’re super hot, and we belong together.”

52. “Do you like Star Wars? Cause Yoda only one for me.”

53. ” If you were a Transformer you’d be Optimus Fine!”

54. “I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?”

55. “Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!”

56. “If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest women in the world, you would have a dollar!”

57. “I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!”

58. “Knock-knock. (Who’s there?) When where? (When where who?) Tomorrow night, my house, you.”

59. “I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.”

60. “I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?”

Read More: 225+ Unique Girl Dog Names- Female Puppy Names

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Smooth pick up lines

61. “Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you!”

62. “Are you a broom? Because you’ve swept me off my feet!”

63. “So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?”

64. “Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day.”

65. “When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul.”

66. “I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you.”

67. “Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and I don’t mind being lost at sea.”

68. “I was wondering if you could tell me: If you’re here, who’s running Heaven?”

69. “No wonder the sky is gray (or dark, if at night)—all the color is in your eyes.”

70. “You’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, and believe me—I’ve been looking a long time.”

71. “You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.”

72. “You’ve got a lot of beautiful curves, but your smile is absolutely my favorite.”

73. “Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?”

74. “It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.”

75. “Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.”

Read More: 175+ Most Unique Male Dog Names

76. “You know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms.”

77. “I would never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find.”

78. “I’m not usually religious, but when I saw you, I knew you were the answer to my prayers.”

79. “I’m sorry, were you talking to me? No? Would you like to?”

80. “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Pick up lines

81. “Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”

82. “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”

83. “Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re mm mm good!”

84. “I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it to see if it works?”

85. “Hi, I just wanted to thank you for the gift. (pause) I’ve been wearing this smile ever since you gave it to me.”

86. ” If I said you had a good body would you hold it against me?”

87. “Are you a magician? Because you just cast a spell on me.”

88. “You’re so sweet you must be made out of chocolate.”

89. “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from Heaven?”

90. “Are you a cat? Because you look purrfect!”

Read More: 75+ Best Dog Captions for Instagram

91. Hold out hand: “Hey I’m going for a walk. Will you hold this for me?”

92. “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”

93. Are you a cake, “Because I want a piece of that.”

94. “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one!”

95. “Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you.”

96. “Do you ever get tired from running through my thoughts all night?”

97. “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”

98. “If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.”

99. “You know, they say that love is when you don’t want to sleep because reality is better than your dreams. And after seeing you, I don’t think I ever want to sleep again.?

100. “If you were a taser, you’d be set to ‘stun.’”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Pick up lines for flirting

101. “Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

102. “I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.”

103. “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you lack.”

104. “Do you like Harry Potter? Because I adumbledore you.”

105. “Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”

Read More: 150+ Best Good Morning Messages and Quotes

106. “Your phone has GPS, right? Because I’m totally going to get lost in those insert color eyes.”

107. “Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”

108. “I always thought happiness started with an ‘h,’ but it turns out mine starts with ‘u.’”

109. “If you were a song, you’d be the best track on the album.”

110. “Want to go outside and get some fresh air with me? You just took my breath away.”

111. “Are you a time traveler? Because I absolutely see you in my future.”

112. “I thought this was a (bar/restaurant/etc.), but I must be in a museum because you’re a piece of art.”

113. “You know, your smile has been lighting up the room all night and I just had to come and say hello.”

114. “What does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?”

115. “I can’t tell if that was an earthquake, or if you just seriously rocked my world.”

116. “I just had to tell you, your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.”

117. “You are astoundingly gorgeous, but I can tell that’s the least interesting thing about you. I’d love to know more.”

118. “One night I looked up at the stars and thought, ‘Wow, how beautiful.’ But now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.”

119. “I think the only way you could possibly be more beautiful is if I got to know you.”

120. “I don’t know which is prettier today—the weather, or your eyes.”

Also Read: 150+ Beautiful Life Quotes That’ll Motivate You

121. “I swear someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

122. “In my opinion, there are three kinds of beautiful: Cute, pretty, and sexy. Somehow, you manage to be all three.”

123. “The sparkle in your eyes is so bright, the sun must be jealous.”

124. “I don’t know your name, but I’m sure it’s as beautiful as you are. I’m (your name).”

125. “Hi, I’m (your name). Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Best pickup lines for girls

126. “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.”

127. “Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.”

128. “(Hold out your hand) Hey, I’m going for a walk. Would you mind holding this for me?”

129. “I’m really glad I just bought life insurance, because when I saw you, my heart stopped.”

130. “Would you mind giving me a pinch? You’re so cute, I must be dreaming.”

131. “Wow, when God made you, he was seriously showing off.”

132. “Excuse me, do you have the time? I just want to remember the exact minute I got a crush on you.”

133. “Kiss me if I’m wrong but, dinosaurs still exist, right?”

134. “You know, I had a pickup line ready to go, but you’re so hot it just left my mind.”

135. “When I text you goodnight later, what phone number should I use?”

Read More: 150+ Best Father-Daughter Quotes and Sayings in 2022

136. “I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”

137. “I was going to say something really sweet about you, but when I saw you, I became speechless.”

138. “You know, I believe that honesty is the best policy, so to be perfectly honest, you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

139. “You must be a hell of a thief, because you managed to steal my heart from across the room.”

140. “If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it right back.”

141. “Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.”

142. “What’s a smart, attractive man like myself doing without your phone number?”

143. “I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?”

144. “Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?”

145. “I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.”

146. “Did I tell you I’m writing a book? It’s a phone book and it’s missing your number.”

147. “Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”

148. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink (pause), because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

149. “I saw you walking by and I had to come say hello. I love your style. My name’s (your name).”

150. “If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine of my lives with you.”

Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls
Best Pick Up Lines, Cheesy pick-up lines, Funny Pick up lines, Smooth pick up lines, Pick up lines, Pick up lines for flirting, Best pickup lines for girls

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

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Pick Up Lines

150+ Dirty Pick Up Lines That Actually Cross The Line

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Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

Dirty Pick Up Lines: In general, we use the best ‘flirty pick up lines’ to impress someone.  But if you are looking for something funny and a little ‘Dirty pickup lines’, then this article might prove to be helpful for you.

Here are 150+ ‘funny’ and ‘Dirty pickup lines’, if you are looking for ‘funny’ and ‘Dirty pickup lines’, you can use them. However “These pick-up lines are meant for entertainment purposes.”

Dirty Pick Up Lines

1. “If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head”

2. “They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?”

3. “I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?”

4. “Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”

5. “Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus”

6. “The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to your place and spread the word”

7. “Your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice”

8. “If you don’t want to have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice”

9. “Do you know what would look good on you? Me”

10. “You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room”

11. “Did you fart because you blew me away”

12. “Do you know karate because your body is kicking”

13. “Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good”

14. “Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged”

15. “Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen”

Read More: 150+ Flirty Pick Up Lines to Sand Your Crush Right Now

16. “I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.”

17. “Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.”

18. “Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?”

19. “Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.”

20. “Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!”

Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines
Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES

21. “Sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops up”

22. “Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.”

23. “Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.”

24. “Are you undressing me with your eyes?!”

25. “Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on”

26. “Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on”

27. “I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle”

28. “You’re like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast”

29. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

30. “I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.”

Read More: 150+ Romantic Love Quotes and Sayings

31. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package”

32. “Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?”

33. “I lost my keys… can I check your pants?”

34. “Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?”

35. “Do I have to sign for your package?”

36. “I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.”

37. “Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?”

38. “That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed”

39. “You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear”

40. “Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.”

Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines
Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

Clever pick up lines

41. “Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.”

42. “I am putting you on my to-do list.”

43. “Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that a** is calling me.”

44. “You are just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique and with one touch, you’ll be wet.”

45. “Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%.”

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46. “Are you a woodchuck? Because I can see your wood.”

47. “Can I read your T-shirt in Braille?”

48. “Wanna go halfsies on a baby?”

49. “Are you a mask? Because I want you on my face.”

50. “I promise I’m not like what you’re used to.”

51. “I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.”

52. “Are you the last air bender? ’cause I’d definitely like you bending for me.”

53. “Is your last name s*icide? because I want to commit to you.”

54. “Is your a** a library book. Because I want to check you out.”

55. “You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!”

56. “I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!”

57. “Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”

58. “Baby, are you a lion? Because I can see you lion in my bed tonight.”

59. “I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.”

60. “Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.”

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Funny Pick-Up Lines

61. “I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling.”

62. “Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a large bone for you to examine.”

63. “With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.”

64. “Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!”

65. “Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.”

66. “Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.”

67. “If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.”

68. “What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.”

69. “Aside from being extremely sexy, what else do you do for a living?”

70. “Are you tired? Want to change that?”

71. “I must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood.”

72. “Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!”

73. “If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”

74. “Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend”

75. “You’re so hot, that when I look at you I get a tan”

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76. “You look so sweet you’re giving’ me a toothache”

77. “Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after”

78. “Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see”

79. “I bet you $40 you’re gonna turn me down”

80. “Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine”

Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines
Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy

81. “I have 206 bones in my body. Want to give me another one?”

82. “Don’t forget my name, because you’ll be screaming it tonight.”

83. “Can I help loosen your belt? It looks really tight.”

84. “Am I the only one wet in this room?”

85. “Would you mind a happy death? Because people say, sex is a killer.”

86. “I feel a bit wasted, but the latex in my purse should not go to waste.”

87. “Sing the ABC alphabet, and I’ll take on from the fourth letter, D.”

88. “We’re going to someplace tonight. I want to hear who screams louder than the other.”

89. “Your sweater is made of 100% boyfriend material. It looks great on you.”

90. “I can warm you up because you look miserably cold.”

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91. “When I see you, I see my light switch. Can I turn you on?”

92. “You make me wonder how guys like you maintain their great looks.”

93. “I will have no regrets if I die today because I could have passed through heaven.”

94. “When I look into your eyes, I see everything except your name.”

95. “Can we take a picture? Because I want to make sure Santa gets the right present for Christmas.”

96. “I love your car, can we create some memories here? We can have a quickie.”

97. “What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

98. “Do you have a nickname? If not can I call you later?”

99. “Is you body a map? because I love to travel.”

100. “You with all those curves and I’m the car with no breaks… ooohhh -Drake”

Best Pick Up Lines

101. “Your lips look lonely. Wanna introduce them to mine?”

102. “Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.”

103. “Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”

104. “You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there”

105. “Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?”

Also Read: 150+ Beautiful Life Quotes That’ll Motivate You

106. “Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like… my next girlfriend”

107. “I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by you”

108. “Excuse me, but I DO think it’s time we met”

109. “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

110. “What’s your sign?”

111. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

112. “There is something wrong with my cell phone. (What’s wrong with it?) It doesn’t have your number in it”

113. “You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute”

114. “I’d love to see you wearing your birthday suit”

115. “I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?”

116. “I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you”

117. “I’ve recently qualified as a gynecologist and I’d like to offer you my pro-boner services”

118. “If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?”

119. “Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later”

120. “What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari”

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121. “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”

122. “I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.”

123. “Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.”

124. “I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you”

125. “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”

Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines
Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

Smooth pick up lines

126. “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”

127. “Oh! I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

128. “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but fish can fly, right?”

129. “My mom said she found a beautiful and intelligent girl for me. Is that you?”

130. “Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.”

131. “Let’s save water by taking a shower together.”

132. “Did you know I am good with numbers? Give me yours so I can prove it to you.”

133. “Hey. I’m Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me.”

134. “I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.”

135. “Hi, my name is [your name], but you can call me tonight or tomorrow.”

Read More: Thankful Quotes: 150+ Best Thank You Quotes And Sayings

136. “Hey. I’m doing my thesis on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?”

137. “Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

138. “I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. Deal?”

139. “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”

140. “If Disney is the happiest place on Earth, in your arms is no doubt the happiest place in the universe.”

141. “Ya know, I was feeling a little off today. But you’ve turned me on.”

142. “Thank god I have life insurance. Because you make my heart stop.”

143. “Can you do me a favor? I need you to take down my number.”

144. “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.”

145. “If being in love was illegal, I would want to be your partner in crime.”

146. “Did you know penguins stick to one partner their whole life? Would you like to be my penguin?”

147. “Do you remember me? I’m the man of your dreams.”

148. “Sir, I’m going to need you to step away from the bar. You’re melting all the ice.”

149. “That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”

150. “Aside from being so gorgeous and intelligent, what are your other attributes?”

Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines
Dirty Pick Up Lines, FUNNY AND DIRTY PICK-UP LINES, Clever pick up lines, Funny Pick-Up Lines, Dirty pick up lines to say to a guy, Best Pick Up Lines, Smooth pick up lines

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