150+ Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually so Funny

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Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

Best Dad Jokes: If you are looking for the best jokes and puns, then this article is for you. Because the best jokes and puns given here will keep you entertained.

“Here we have captured the unique flavor of a real dad’s sense of humor in this collection of over 150+ dad jokes, puns, and one-liners that will make you laugh, groan, or even both at the same time!”

Best Dad Jokes

1. “What does a baby computer call his father? Data.”

2. “After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.”

3. “Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.”

4. “How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.”

5. “I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.”

6. “Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.”

7. “How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.”

8. “Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!”

9. “How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.”

10. “Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

11. “What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.”

12. “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”

13. “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”

14. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”

15. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

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16. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”

17. “Air used to be free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?”
Inflation.

18. “Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Cause you shouldn’t press your luck.”

19. “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.”

20. “Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.”

Funniest dad jokes

21. “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”

22. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”

23. “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”

24. “How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.”

25. “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”

26. “What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.”

27. “What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.”

28. “How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.”

29. “How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb? Who wants to know?”

30. “I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden?”

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Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

31. “Did you hear about the frog who parked illegally? He was toad away.”

32. “What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.”

33. “Why did the man name his puppies Rolex and Timex? He wanted a watch dog.

34. “What did the duck say when she ordered lipstick? Put it on my bill.

35. “What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.

36. “My wife asked me to stop singing ‘Wonderwall‘ to her. I said maybe…”

37. “What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.”

38. “My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.”

39. “I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.”

40. “What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.”

Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

41. “What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop.”

42. “Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.”

43. “I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.”

44. “I was addicted to hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.”

45. “I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.”

Read More: 150+ Best Pick Up Lines- Cheesy and Funny

46. “Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.”

47. “What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.”

48. “What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.”

49. “Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.”

50. “Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

51. “What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.”

52. “What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.”

53. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.”

54. “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”

55. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!”

56. “Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.”

57. “What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved.”

58. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?” “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”

59. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”

60. “How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.”

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Best Dad Joke Puns

61. “Can February March? No, but April May!”

62. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

63. “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”

64. “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”

65. “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”

66. “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”

67. “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”

68. “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.”

69. “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”

70. “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

71. “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”

72. “How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.”

73. “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”

74. “What’s a robot’s favorite snack?” “Computer chips.”

75. “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”

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76. “Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.”

77. “When does a joke become a ‘dad joke?’ When it becomes apparent.”

78. “Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.”

79. “What rock group has four men that don’t sing? Mount Rushmore.”

80. “What brand of underwear do scientists wear? Kelvin Klein.”

Funny Dad Jokes

81. “Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero.”

82. “What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed!”

83. “Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.”

84. “Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.”

85. “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”

86. “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.”

87. “Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.”

88. “What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.”

89. “What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.”

90. “Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.”

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Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

91. “What do clouds wear?” “Thunderwear.”

92. “Why are piggy banks so wise?” “They’re filled with common cents.”

93. “How do you get a good price on a sled?” “You have toboggan.”

94. “How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?” “By its bark.”

95. “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”

96. “It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.”

97. “What do you call a hot dog on wheels?” “Fast food!”

98. “Where do young trees go to learn?” “Elementree school.”

99. “How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!”

100. “I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.”

Bad Dad Jokes

101. “When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.”

102. “What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!”

103. “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”

104. “What do you call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!”

105. “Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.”

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106. “I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the purple!”

107. “Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.”

108. “What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield!”

109. “Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.”

110. “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate nine!”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

111. “I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.”

112. “Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.”

113. “What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.”

114. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Nobel.” “Nobel who?” “No­bel, so I knock knocked.”

115. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Alabama.” “Anybody with you?” “Nope. I’m Alabama self.”

116. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ayatollah.” “Ayatollah who?” “Ayatollah you already.”

117. “Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.”

118. “I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find was 401 matches…”

119. “I sold our vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.”

120. “What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracabrador.”

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Corny Dad Jokes

121. “Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.”

122. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!”

123. “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!”

124. “Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!”

125. “What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.”

126. Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

127. “My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, ‘I always have a few Twix up my sleeve’.”

128. “How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper.”

129. “Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.”

130. “How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.”

131. “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”

132. “What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.”

133. “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.”

134. “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”

135. “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”

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136. “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”

137. “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”

138. “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”

139. “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.”

140. “What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.”

Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes
Best Dad Jokes, Dad jokes you've never heard, Funniest dad jokes, Best One-Liner Dad Jokes, Best Dad Joke Puns, Funny Dad Jokes

Dad jokes you’ve never heard

141. “My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.” I replied, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”

142. My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.

143. “What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-naaaa.”

144. “What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!”

145. “Did you hear the rumor about butter? I really shouldn’t be spreading it.”

146. “I just nicknamed my new phone ‘Titanic‘ so whenever it’s charging I can say ‘the Titanic is synching.'”

147. “A termite walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?'”

148. “Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!”

149. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They’re both Paris sites.”

150. “I told my son I’m named after Thomas Jefferson. He says, But dad, your name is Brian. I respond, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

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