50 Funny Quotes – Quotes That Will Make You LOL

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If you are looking for such funny quotes that will inspire you and bring a smile to your face, then this article can prove to be beneficial for you. 

Laughter actually plays an important role in keeping us healthy and stress-free, research has revealed that laughter not only reduces stress but also lowers blood pressure.

That’s why here we have given 50 funny quotes, they will prove to be helpful in motivating you as well as making you feel happy.  “If you like it then you can also share it with your friends and family.”

Funny Quotes

1. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

2. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”—Mitch Hedberg

3. “Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”
― Suzanne Collins

4. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”—President Merkin Muffley

5. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”—Rose, The Golden Girls

6. “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”― Mark Twain

7. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”― Ellen DeGeneres

8. “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”― Marilyn Monroe

9. “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”― Lemony Snicket

10. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”― Cathy Guiswite

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11. “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”― Einstein

12. “If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

13. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”- Anthony Burgess

14. “Only the mediocre are always at their best.” – Jean Giraudoux

15. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
—Jack Handey

16. “I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.” – Flannery O’Connor

17. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”—David Letterman

18. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
—Mark Twain

19. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
—Will Ferrell

20. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
—Michael Scott

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Clever funny Quotes

21. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

22. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
—Rodney Dangerfield

23. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
—Les Dawson

24. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.”
—Steven Wright

25. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”- Abraham Lincoln

26. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”- Abraham Lincoln

27. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”- Abraham Lincoln

28. “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”- Dylan Thomas

29. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”- Albert Einstein

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30. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”- Bob Hope

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Extremely funny quotes

31. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
―Mindy Kaling

32. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”
—Lt. Frank Drebin 

33. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
—George Burns

34. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
—Steve Martin

35. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
—Jay Leno

36.  “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
—Groucho Marx

37. “Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?”
—Neil DeGrasse Tyson

38. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
—Sir Norman Wisdom

39. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
—Graham Norton

40. “I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.”

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Best Funny quotes about life

41. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”
—Clairee Belcher 

42. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” —Clark Griswold

43. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

44. “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”
—Sheldon Cooper

45. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”
—Jimmy Kimmel

46.  “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”

47. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
—Ellen DeGeneres

48. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
—Phyllis Diller

49.  “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
—Erma Bombeck

50.  “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
—Rita Rudner

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