1oo Stupid Jokes Of All Time
1. “What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, they just waved.”
2. “What do you call a fake noodle?“
3. “How do you make an artichoke?“
You strangle it.
4. “What did the policeman say to his belly button?“
“You’re under a vest.”
5. “How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
You listen for coughin’ in his coffin.”
6. “What do you call a pig that does karate?“
A pork chop.
7. “Why did the bike fall over?“
It was two tired.
8. “Why did the picture get arrested?“
It got framed.
9. “Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.”
10. “Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
Because they’re such fungis! (Fun guys, get it?)”
11. “What animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs because they croak every day!”
12. “When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.”
13. “Why was the math teacher late to work?
She took the rhombus.”
14. “My daughter thinks I don’t give her enough privacy. At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.”
15. “What’s the difference between a well-dressed person on a unicycle and a poorly dressed person on a bike?”
Read More: 65 Funny Chemistry Jokes and Puns
16. “Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.”
17. “Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why?“
18. “Why did the puny lettuce go to the gym?
It wanted to get shredded!”
19. “What do cows like to watch on Netflix?“
A good moo-vie!
20. “Why did the bike have a nap?“
It was two-tyred!
Read More: 150 Best Jokes for Kids | Funny Clean Jokes
21. “I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why?“
I guess I’m just a bit slow.
22. “I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.”
23. “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?“
In case he got a hole in one.
24. “Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?“
Because he was a little horse.
25. “What do you call a fish with no eyes?“
26. “What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?“
A can’t opener!
27. “There are three types of people in the world
Those who can count and those who can’t.”
28. “Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?“
29. “A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.”
30. “Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.”
Read More: 35+ Funny Physics Jokes and Puns
Stupid Dad Jokes
31. “What is the name of a dinosaur with a large vocabulary?“
32. “What is the reason why orphans are not good at playing baseball?
That’s because they don’t know where their home is.”
33. “What is the name of the penguin’s favorite aunt?“
34. “Why does a husband lead a dog’s life?
He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.”
35. “Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just wanted a bit more space.”
36. “What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.”
37. “Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!”
38. “Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
No, you should just stick with turkey.”
39. “Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.”
40. “Can one bird make a pun?“
No, but toucan.
Read More: 125 Best Good Morning Text Messages For Him
41. “When is a door not a door?“
When it’s ajar.
42. “Why wasn’t the letter delivered?“
It was stationary.
43. Fun fact: “Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import.”
44. “What kind of car runs on leaves?“
45. “What is Forrest Gump’s email password?“
Read More: 75+ Best Chemistry Pick Up Lines
Stupid Funny Jokes
46. “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?“
He won the “no-bell” prize.
47. “Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.”
48. “What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They’re both purple except for the rabbit.”
49. “Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?
He was stuck in a vicious cycle.”
50. “What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?”
“Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
51. “What is Harry Potter’s favourite subject at Hogwarts“
52. “Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?
Nope, unless you Count Dracula!”
53. “What do you call a bear without ears?“
54. “Which dog likes taking bubble baths?“
55. “Why do ants never get sick?
Because they have antie bodies.”
56. “What is a plumber’s least favorite vegetable?“
57. “What if life gives you melons?“
58. “What do you call a nosy pepper?“
59. “Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?“
To see butter-fly.
60. “Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?“
He was stuffed.
Stupid Jokes for Adults
61. “Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?“
He was stuffed.
62. “Why did the traffic light turn red?
It had to change in the middle of the street.”
63. “How can you tell when a bike is thinking?
Their wheels are turning.”
64. “What events do spiders love to attend?“
65. “Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.”
66. “I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.”
67. “Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag!”
68. “What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool?
Rock pay-for scissors.”
69. “Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.”
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
70. “Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.”
Read More: 125 Best Good Morning Text Messages For Her
71. “What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.”
72. “What does the stork do once he’s delivered the baby?
He lies on the couch and drinks a beer!”
73. “How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.”
74. “Why did the orange lose the race?
It ran out of juice.”
75. “How you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.”
Stupid Jokes That Make No Sense
76. “Where’s the warmest part of a room?
The corner, because it’s always 90 degrees!”
77. “Why couldn’t the pony sing?
It was a little hoarse!”
78. “Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools!”
79. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”
80. “Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!”
81. “Why do pregnant horses run faster than other horses?
Because they have two horsepower.”
82. “What is the name of a witch that lies on the beach?“
A sand witch
83. “Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he neverlands.”
84. “Why do you smear peanut butter in the road?
To go with the traffic jam.”
85. “What do you call an attractive fruit?“
86. “What did the cupcake tell its frosting?“
I’d be muffin without you.
87. “What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?“
88. “What do kids wear when they can’t play with a phone?“
89. “What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?“
90. “Why did the cookie go to the hospital?“
Because he felt crummy.
Read More: 175+ Most Unique Male Dog Names
91. “What do you call a hippie’s wife?“
92. “What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick?“
Put it on my bill!
93. “What do you call a man with a rubber toe?“
94. “What do you give to a sick lemon?“
95. “What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?“
Dumb Jokes for Adults
96. “What is the anime of a clown who’s stuck in the desert?“
A dry humor
97. “What kind of markets do dogs hate?“
98. “How do mountains stay warm in winter?“
99. “Why do artists constantly feel cold?
Because they’re surrounded by drafts.”
100. “What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?“